November 6th, 2006 - The executive manicure and pen thieves.
The updates in the book tailed off last week as Alpha began behaving for fear of possible incriminating entries in the journal. My brief experiment made me more in tune with the other office hijinks that occur so often that I normally wouldn't notice.
Monday morning started off with my noticing that Omega was using sissors to trim his finger nails rather then the traditional practice of utilizing nail clippers.
I remarked on his choice of instruments to groom his nails and he showed me how he uses the rough surface of the office walls to manicure his nails. He then showed me as he walked down the hall running his fingers along the wall. Sure enough his nails were nicely groomed. Alpha remarked that Omega was disgusting and that his DNA was likely littered on everything throughout the office.
Shortly before lunch Omega called Alpha a hateful prick. He had noticed that Alpha had one of his pens. One that was from his own "Private collection" and that he had paid four dollars for it and that he had been looking for it. Alpha denied any wrongdoing and suggested that Omega may have left it at Alpha's desk by accident. Omega denied this possiblity and remarked on Alpha's horrible memory and how he has already forgotten things that happened 10 minutes ago. (This is true) I then screwed over Alpha by remarking that he did do a series of job interviews in Omega's office while he was away on holidays.
2:04pm - I am typing away on my computer when I hear (and sense) that something has been thrown by my feet. I look down to see that it is a remote control and just in time to see Alpha's hand. A well played move on his part and a deserving arm shot for me.
Monday morning started off with my noticing that Omega was using sissors to trim his finger nails rather then the traditional practice of utilizing nail clippers.
I remarked on his choice of instruments to groom his nails and he showed me how he uses the rough surface of the office walls to manicure his nails. He then showed me as he walked down the hall running his fingers along the wall. Sure enough his nails were nicely groomed. Alpha remarked that Omega was disgusting and that his DNA was likely littered on everything throughout the office.
Shortly before lunch Omega called Alpha a hateful prick. He had noticed that Alpha had one of his pens. One that was from his own "Private collection" and that he had paid four dollars for it and that he had been looking for it. Alpha denied any wrongdoing and suggested that Omega may have left it at Alpha's desk by accident. Omega denied this possiblity and remarked on Alpha's horrible memory and how he has already forgotten things that happened 10 minutes ago. (This is true) I then screwed over Alpha by remarking that he did do a series of job interviews in Omega's office while he was away on holidays.
2:04pm - I am typing away on my computer when I hear (and sense) that something has been thrown by my feet. I look down to see that it is a remote control and just in time to see Alpha's hand. A well played move on his part and a deserving arm shot for me.
posted by Smarmy Boss at 8:08 PM
3 Comments:
Do you people actually work or walk around unleashing deep secret hidden rage on eachother?
Oh we work. We work pretty hard, but you can only deal with so much technical stuff before you go a little nuts. Plus our spirits were crushed a long time ago. That's one of the things we tell new employees. "Your spirit will be crushed." Takes about four months.
I went 4-1 in the punching game today.
There was also a side story where Alpha grabbed me by the lower abdomen and pushed me into a divider. It made my stuff and I felt violated.
It made my "Stuff" move is what I was attempting to say.
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