December 4th, 2006 - The Dirty Christmas Party.
The Dirty Christmas party. Is a staff only function, where drinks are cheap, pizza is plentiful, and tempers run short. It is an offensive display of debauchery, and gluttony, as foul as any such display in the history of the earth. In a nutshell, it is simply fantastic.
Last year was apparently a classic. I wouldn't know, because Alpha made me work. In fact, he made me work both Xmas parties. Of course, had you been reading the posts prior to this one. It should come as no surprise.
Our department represents. That's about all I can say. Last year a newly minted Supervisor was concerned about getting too drunk and not acting appropriately in front of his subordinates. Omega assured him that he would be fine if he restrained himself and adhered to moderation. He used Alpha as an example of such behaviour. However, he should have looked to see what Alpha was up to. As both Omega and the young super turned towards Alpha. They were treated to a display of drunken mayhem not seen since Animal House.
Alpha had seized a candy cane decoration and fashioned a beer bong out of it. Onlookers had formed a circle around him and cheered him on as he pounded beer after beer. From that point on, he spent the night beer soaked, stumbling around, challenging onlookers to fights.
This year Alpha has declared that he will be much more reserved. He's also informed me that I am to stay on the opposite side of the hall as him. He was none too pleased with my performance at the "nice" Christmas party. As if I could ever top him last year.
We're trying to make the official term of the dirty Christmas party: Festivus. Complete with a metal pole, wrestling, and period of time when we can air a list of grievances, leveled against those who have disappointed us over the past year.
Last year was apparently a classic. I wouldn't know, because Alpha made me work. In fact, he made me work both Xmas parties. Of course, had you been reading the posts prior to this one. It should come as no surprise.
Our department represents. That's about all I can say. Last year a newly minted Supervisor was concerned about getting too drunk and not acting appropriately in front of his subordinates. Omega assured him that he would be fine if he restrained himself and adhered to moderation. He used Alpha as an example of such behaviour. However, he should have looked to see what Alpha was up to. As both Omega and the young super turned towards Alpha. They were treated to a display of drunken mayhem not seen since Animal House.
Alpha had seized a candy cane decoration and fashioned a beer bong out of it. Onlookers had formed a circle around him and cheered him on as he pounded beer after beer. From that point on, he spent the night beer soaked, stumbling around, challenging onlookers to fights.
This year Alpha has declared that he will be much more reserved. He's also informed me that I am to stay on the opposite side of the hall as him. He was none too pleased with my performance at the "nice" Christmas party. As if I could ever top him last year.
We're trying to make the official term of the dirty Christmas party: Festivus. Complete with a metal pole, wrestling, and period of time when we can air a list of grievances, leveled against those who have disappointed us over the past year.
posted by Smarmy Boss at 4:49 PM
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