November 8th, 2006 - Nothing couth about it.
Hygiene is the order of the day.
Omega has a lot of habits. I believe i've mentioned the nail filing strategy. He also flosses and offers people money if they'll eat what he pulls out. He also enjoys taking a kleenex and wiping his tongue which really bothers Cecil for some reason.
Today we had a flossing contest. You couldn't use mirrors and we see who could do it the fastest. I was the slowest, but I think its because I have more teeth.
Omega used to be Alpha. Alpha used to be Moses. I'll let that set in. Omega used to sit where Alpha sits, and Alpha used to sit where Moses sits.
Alpha told me that he used to "see the foulest shit." when he sat next to Omega. He recalls one time when they went out drinking on a Wednesday and came into work hungover for Thursday. Omega turned to say something to Alpha and instead burped/puked a small stream on the carpet floor. Alpha is a squeamish individual and can't stand the site of any bodily fluids. (Except blood he seems to like the sight of blood). The grossest part to Alpha was that Omega sat still for a second and then worked the vomit into the carpet and carried on his day.
Omega comes over to our desks and Alpha tells him that he is telling us the gross tales of when they used to sit together.
Omega: "Did you tell them about the time I puked on the floor?"
Alpha: "Yes, do you remember how horrified I was?"
Omega: "Dude I was as surprised as you were."
Alpha: "And do you remember how you cleaned it up?"
Omega: "Yeah, I worked it into the carpet with my shoe... You see that's what I love about this department. You don't have to feel like you need to embellish a story to make it more interesting for people. Its already a great story when it comes out of here."
Me: "If anything, we need to tone it down a bit."
Omega: "Yes that is true."
Omega has a lot of habits. I believe i've mentioned the nail filing strategy. He also flosses and offers people money if they'll eat what he pulls out. He also enjoys taking a kleenex and wiping his tongue which really bothers Cecil for some reason.
Today we had a flossing contest. You couldn't use mirrors and we see who could do it the fastest. I was the slowest, but I think its because I have more teeth.
Omega used to be Alpha. Alpha used to be Moses. I'll let that set in. Omega used to sit where Alpha sits, and Alpha used to sit where Moses sits.
Alpha told me that he used to "see the foulest shit." when he sat next to Omega. He recalls one time when they went out drinking on a Wednesday and came into work hungover for Thursday. Omega turned to say something to Alpha and instead burped/puked a small stream on the carpet floor. Alpha is a squeamish individual and can't stand the site of any bodily fluids. (Except blood he seems to like the sight of blood). The grossest part to Alpha was that Omega sat still for a second and then worked the vomit into the carpet and carried on his day.
Omega comes over to our desks and Alpha tells him that he is telling us the gross tales of when they used to sit together.
Omega: "Did you tell them about the time I puked on the floor?"
Alpha: "Yes, do you remember how horrified I was?"
Omega: "Dude I was as surprised as you were."
Alpha: "And do you remember how you cleaned it up?"
Omega: "Yeah, I worked it into the carpet with my shoe... You see that's what I love about this department. You don't have to feel like you need to embellish a story to make it more interesting for people. Its already a great story when it comes out of here."
Me: "If anything, we need to tone it down a bit."
Omega: "Yes that is true."
posted by Smarmy Boss at 5:10 PM
2 Comments:
That. Is. Discusting.
Just imagine witnessing such a spectacle. To the outside world he's a very well groomed man. He has no such compunctions of good behaviour around us. Its... sobering, to be sure.
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